My crazy work week

Work lately has been a bit crazy.

Normally when my mom visits, I just take a few weeks completely off. I plan before hand and take care of any time sensitive issues before she gets here, and don't schedule any appointments while she is here.

Not this time. My mom got here last Monday, and it couldn't have been a busier time at work.

In the days before she arrived, when I would normally be scouring the kitchen and folding laundry, I had an overnight placement. I got a phone call at 8:15pm, and when my work phone rings that late, I know something is up. I called the couple and told them they had been chosen for a baby at 8:30pm, and a few hours later we were all at the hospital meeting the birth parents. We were out until after midnight that night, and then returned the next morning at 9:30am for placement. Then, after all is said and done, and the couple is home having sleepless nights, I am neck deep in paperwork.

Being a caseworker means that every contact relating to a case needs to be documented. So when something happens that quickly, and that late at night, it makes sitting down and remembering every phone call and every bit of information given a little difficult. Did I tell them that? Was that on Wednesday or Thursday? The 4th phone call or the 5th? And then there are the legal documents and reports to write with every placement. The summary of every gift given, every document signed and witnessed, and every statement made showing claiming or bonding.

And then one week after that placement, I got to do it again. Well not quite. It's not an overnight placement. But another couple was chosen a couple days ago, and the birth mom is due any day. So the whirlwind of phone calls and paperwork begins, face to face's on short notice, and reviewing placement documents with the couple.

Not to say I am not ecstatic to be a part of such wonderful events. I LOVE when my couples get babies. It is the best part of my job. It just made for a crazy week- and a dirty house when my mom got here.

It's been a bit of a crazy year in that respect. In the last 12 months, I have placed 14 babies (that I can remember), and taken 2 relinquishments (meaning I was the birth parent caseworker when she placed her baby). I have 3 more couples due to get babies in August.

Also happening this week at work, we are opening the Springville office.

Yes, yes, I live in Salt Lake, and Springville is even further than Provo. But the commute is actually about 5 minutes shorter. Instead of cutting across the valley for 12 minutes, I just continue on the freeway 2 more exits and I'm there! So that is why I offered to go to Springville.

But opening the new office has been a bit crazy. We do not have an adoption manager hired yet, so there has been some confusion and lack of direction in getting things going. For a long time, concrete plans were just being put on hold while we waited to see who would be hired as manager. Then, as it became clear that hiring a manager was a ways off, those decisions were placed on the caseworkers. Luckily the other caseworker transferring with me is a full-timer and in training to be a manager. So she can make those decisions much better than I can. Budget, opening date, which cases to transfer, decorating. We have a credit card with the agency's name on it (literally), and have put it to good use purchasing big framed artwork, and little potted plants, leather ottomans, pillows, and lamps.

We even got a Ford Escape, which is both neat and scary. Neat because it is a different car than most other offices- they all have Camry's. Scary because the reason we got the cool SUV is that our catchment area (the area we cover in our office) goes from Springville, out to Price, to Moab. And clients have to have home visits throughout the year. I may be driving those backroad highways in the dead of Utah winter.

It's a good thing my mom likes shopping, because that is all we did the first half of the week she was here! We open for appointments tomorrow, and while the artwork isn't hung yet (church contractors have to hang it), and we still have a lot more decorating type stuff to buy, my office is mostly put together at this point. We are still waiting on some clocks and pillows. We can't decorate with other than church purchased items until after the dedication, which isn't schedule until August 26th. So for now this is all I can have out. But after that, I'll have up my calendar, some more artwork from home, my degree and licensure, and I have a collection of the photos of every child I have placed.


It will be really nice not having to share my office space. Not that I didn't love my Provo co-workers. But it will be nice to not have to split the available hours, and to able to run in on a day off, and to not have to readjust my chair height every single day, and to always have pens in the desk.

Another part of opening the Springville office is splitting the Provo caseload. We had a meeting a week ago where all of the caseworkers sat down and went over each case and determined if it transferred to Springville, or stayed in Provo based on address. Then we assigned them to their new caseworkers. Typically the part time workers carry a caseload of about 20-25 adoptive couples and 5-10 expectant parents. With all the placements I had in the last year, my caseload was a bit lower to start, about 20, because once couples finalize their adoptions, I close them. You may have noticed that my available couples listed on my sidebar has been shrinking. Well, I transferred 3 of my couples to workers staying in Provo, but the majority were going with me to Springville. Then I received 14 new cases; 13 of which are approved waiting couples. So watch for my list to almost triple!

Also new with work this week- the FSA national conference. When my mom told me she was coming out the last week in July, I told her that that'd be great because she would get to go to the conference with me! I'm not sure how much she enjoyed it; she doesn't eat breath and sleep adoption like most of the people who attended. But I hope she was able to get something out of the sessions we attended. I took her to a birth mother's panel (one of my birth moms was speaking!), to a session on openness, to a class for expectant parents on how to choose an adoptive couple, to a class on the Utah foster care system, and to a panel on the whole picture following a case through the eyes of the birth mother, birth grandparents, adoptive couple, adoptive grandparents, and caseworkers on both sides. I actually got to present on that panel, as the case was one of mine. So now my mom is an adoption expert! (whether she liked it or not)

The last big news at work (of course also happening this week) is that the agency is coming out with a bunch of new policy. This new policy will come out officially tomorrow, and there are a lot of big changes for my couples. So we, as caseworkers, have had a lot of policy to read, and meetings to discuss, and I still feel like I am flying a bit blind. I hope I fully understand the changes before I am answering big questions about them. This also means that I am writing an entire home study this week, and that I am actually scheduling some appointments next week in order to get one couple approved and others' homestudies updated before the new policy would effect them.

Ok, big deep breath. This crazy week will pass.

And my mom is getting to see more of my job than she ever wanted to. And now, if you read all that, you did too!

It's a parade, hooray!

Spanish Fork Parade 7/24/2010

Yesterday I took the kids down to Spanish Fork bright and early to be part of the float for FSA. FSA or Families Supporting Adoption is an organization of adoptive parents, birth mothers, and adoptees that, well, support adoption. They are a sister group to LDSFS, and all of our couples are members. So basically, it is a large group of mostly our clients. They provide our adoption training for our couples, and also plan different community events to raise adoption awareness. One is the birth mother's day celebration every year, and then participating in various parades.

When I told Carly that we were going to be in a parade, she was very excited. We spent some time practicing our waving; even Wes practiced, which was great because he was an awesome waver on the float. But Carly can't say 'parade.' Either that or she continually misunderstands me. Instead, we were going to be in a "hooray!" All morning long, "Daddy, I'm going to be in a hooray!" The parade was fun, it was great seeing some of my clients outside of dark skirts and nylons, and the kids had a good time.

Birth mother's day 2010

So I am really behind on my posting. But I took the kids down to the Provo FSA's Birth Mother's Day celebration last weekend.

It is an annual walk at the Provo High School track. There are doughnuts, candy toss for the kids, races, balloons, and Cosmo the Cougar. This year, we also had the Provo Fire Department show up.

Good times had by all!

Motherhood

I haven't blogged much lately because most of my free time has been spent working on a talk. I was asked to speak in church on Mother's Day this year... I was so excited!

I have never particularly enjoyed speaking in church. In the past I have cried as I nervously write late into the night hours before church. I have even turned down the opportunity once or twice, using various excuses. I have never felt particularly connected with the subject.

But when I heard 2 weeks ago that the bishop wanted us to speak on Mother's Day, I had an overwhelming spiritual confirmation. Even before he told us what the 'topic' was, I knew what I was going to talk about.

Ever since working in adoption, I have been accutely aware of the pain that Mother's Day brings to so many. The childless and infertile, the birth mothers. Both sides of the people I serve and love. And I don't believe for a second that this is the purpose of Mother's Day- to honor a small portion, and alienate others.

So without further ado, here is my Mother's Day talk.


When asked to speak on Mother’s day, I immediately thought of this quote by Patricia Holland. She says:

“In a poignant exchange with God, Adam states that he will call the woman Eve. And why does he call her Eve? ‘Because she is the mother of all living.’… Eve was given the identity of ‘the mother of all living’ years, decades, perhaps centuries before she ever bore a child. It would appear that her motherhood preceded her maternity… I believe ‘mother’ is one of those very carefully chosen words, one of those rich words- with meaning after meaning. I believe with all my heart that it is first and foremost a statement about our nature, not a head count of our children.”

I absolutely know this to be true. Mothering is an eternal divine nature. It is not a term specific to just those currently with children in the home, or even those who have ever born or raised a child. It is not a competition or a badge of honor that only some women in the church have earned by Mother’s Day each year.

As women of the church, we are all in different stages of our lives, but we all have our eternal nature in common. We have all been preordained to the eternal calling of Mother.


In a 2003 address to the sisters of the Relief society, President Hinckley took the time to speak to many different groups of sisters. He speaks to each of their unique challenges and triumphs.

To the single women of the church, President Hinckley offers words of advice, including some dating advice. It’s a fun read if you have the time. More relevant to this talk, however, he says the following: “The world still needs your talents. It needs your contribution. The Church needs your faith. It needs your strong, helping hand.”

In the scriptures, we read about the righteous women of the Lord’s church. Some are notable for their marriages, other for the children they raised. There are also others, whose contribution and righteous acts of sacrifice and bravery are not linked to these traditional roles of wife and mother. Though they may have been married, or have been mothers, these roles are not mentioned in the scriptures. These women include Miriam, a leader of the Jewish women and sister to Moses; the sisters Mary and Martha of the New Testament, and Abish of the Book of Mormon. These women had a great deal to offer in service of the Lord, and their examples have taught generations, regardless of their marital or maternal status.

To the single mothers of the church, president Hinckley said,

“Now I speak to you single mothers whose burdens are so heavy because you have been abandoned or have been widowed. Yours is a terrible load. Bear it well. Seek the blessings of the Lord. Be grateful for any assistance that may come out of the quorums of the priesthood to help you in your home or with other matters. Pray silently in your closet, and let the tears flow if they must come. But put a smile on your face whenever you are before your children.”

Hagar was the mother of Ishmael. She was a single mother- cast out of her home and into the wilderness with her young son. She wandered, and when the food and water were gone, we read that she put her small suffering child in a shaded place, and went a ways off to cry unto the Lord. The Lord heard her, and revealed to her a well of water. When all others had forsaken her, and left to provide alone for her child, the Lord heard and answered her prayers.


To the young mothers of the church, President Hinckley said,

“To you young women with small children, yours is a tremendous challenge. So often there is not enough money. You must scrimp and save. You must be wise and careful in your expenditures. You must be strong and bold and brave and march forward with gladness in your eye and love in your heart. How blessed you are, my dear young mothers. You have children who will be yours forever.”

When I think of a righteous mother of a small child, I always think of Mary, mother of Jesus. If we are raising our children to “try to be like Jesus,” should we do any less than try to be like his mother, Mary? Mary was chosen to raise a young boy into the Savior of the world, to teach him his divine nature, and to then stand aside and watch him be scorned and ulitmately killed by those he ministered to. What better pattern do we have as mothers to our own sweet children? To raise them knowing they are children of God, and to know there will be times we will see them suffer, whether by sin or by the hands of the unjust. Her patience, her humility and her faith are all attributes we need as mothers of this generation.


President Hinckley also has advice for the mothers of older children.

“To the women who are neither young nor old. You are in the most wonderful season of your lives. Your children are in their teens. Possibly one or two are married. Some are on missions, and you are sacrificing to keep them in the field. You are hoping and praying for their success and happiness. To you dear women I offer some special counsel. Count your blessings; name them one by one. You don’t need a great big mansion of a house with an all-consuming mortgage that goes on forever. You do need a comfortable and pleasant home where love abides.”


Lastly, President Hinckley speaks to the older sisters of the church. There is nothing I would add to what he has to say about his own lovely wife.

“Now to you dear grandmothers, you older widows, and older lonely women. How beautiful you are. I look upon my dear wife, soon to be 92 years of age. Her hair is white; her frame is stooped.
I take one of her hands in mine and look at it. Once it was so beautiful, the flesh firm and clear. Now it is wrinkled and a little bony and not very strong. But it speaks of love and constancy and faith, of hard work through the years.”


I would like to add to his list a group of mothers who display true selflessness and love for their children, yet are often not thought of or honored on mothers day because they are not raising their children. The birth mother. Those brave women who discover their pregnancies, love their children from that very instant, and then begin to plan and prepare to give their precious children eternal families, which they know they cannot provide at that time. These mothers, who experience the greatest pain and sacrifice for the sake of their children, are often overlooked- it is often thought that their motherhood has been forfeited. But I say it is the opposite. They have embraced their motherhood. They have displayed the truest nature of a mother- a pure love and concern for their children, above the wishes of their own hearts. They walk hand in hand with Christ, becoming intimately acquainted with the atonement, and make arguably one of the greatest sacrifices a person can make in mortality. To forget to honor these women and their motherhood on Mother’s Day would be a horrible offense.

Lastly, I’d like to honor another group of women often overlooked on Mother’s Day. Those women who are enduring the trial of infertility. These are women who know the pain of loss, and the frustration of righteous desires unfulfilled. These are women who face the assumptions and insensitive questions and comments of others who do not comprehend the pain and longing in their hearts. These are women who sometimes feel out of place within the structure of a church that so greatly honors motherhood and the bearing of children.

In the scriptures we read numerous accounts of righteous sisters who have likewise been given the earthly trial of infertility. Rebekah was called ‘barren;’ Sarah struggled with infertility until her old age- we read of her struggle in the scriptures; Rachel was unable to conceive for years, and we read about her pain and jealousy of her sister, Leah; Hannah was infertile- we read about her prayers to conceive; Elisabeth was infertile and ultimately only one bore one child- John the Baptist.

All through the scriptures, there are stories of righteous, loving and faithful women who were infertile. They had no more than two children each- some only bore one. But these women were some of the most wonderful mothers on record- they changed the world. Without having 10 children, and after having suffered great heartache.

Julie B. Beck once said, ”In my experience I have seen that some of the truest mother hearts beat in the breasts of women who will not (or have not yet) rear[ed] their own children in this life.” I completely agree. I have had the privilege of getting to know many wonderful mothers who have not yet been blessed with children. These women are among my clients, acquaintances and closest friends. I am sensitive to the pain many have expressed that is felt on Mother’s Day. I have heard innumerable times that they leave church only to go home and weep having felt marginalized or excluded, or worse- avoid church in total that day. What a horrible shame that some of the truest mother hearts are not honored on Mother’s Day. Today I honor them.


Sheri L. Dew states:

"In the Lord’s language, the word mother has layers of meaning. Of all the words they could have chosen to define her role and her essence, both God the Father and Adam called Eve “the mother of all living” 3—and they did so before she ever bore a child. Like Eve, our motherhood began before we were born. Just as worthy men were foreordained to hold the priesthood in mortality, 4 righteous women were endowed premortally with the privilege of motherhood. 5 Motherhood is more than bearing children, though it is certainly that. It is the essence of who we are as women. It defines our very identity, our divine stature and nature, and the unique traits our Father gave us."

Our motherhood is the definition of our sacred divine nature. Our Motherhood was foreordained in the preexistance; it is an eternal promise and calling. It is not just a priviledge for this mortal life. As Sister Holland said, it is not our maternity or a current head count of our children. It is so much more. Yes, raising children is the purpose of our maternal nature, and I pray we will all have that opportunity someday. However this blessing is not singular to this life, and whatever opportunities we are afforded to raise children in this life are simply preparation to receive our eternal roles.


I recently heard a wonderful talk by Glenn L. Pace, of the seventy. He states:

"Sisters, I testify that when you stand in front of your heavenly parents in those royal courts on high and look into Her eyes and behold Her countenance, any question you ever had about the role of women in the kingdom will evaporate into the rich celestial air, because at that moment you will see standing directly in front of you, your divine nature and destiny."

I testify that I know this is true. This divine eternal nature and destiny IS the meaning of the word mother. And I wish every sister here today a Happy Mother’s Day.

Get your tissues

This is a video that was shared with me by one of my adoptive mothers. I think it pretty well sums up the feelings associated with infertility, and with waiting in adoption. And I'm not usually a fan of country music, so that's saying a lot!

Eating my words

Remember last fall when I said how "awesome" it would be if all of my couples got babies all at once? Yeah, so, it happened. And now I kinda regret tempting the fates.

Okay, not really. Because I can't be anything but extremely happy for all of these wonderful people whose lives I have been a brief part of. But MY GOODNESS, I am tired. I can't really put into words how overwhelming it has been to do 10 placements and 2 relinquishments in less than 6 months. (A placement is when my client is the adoptive couple; a relinquishment is when my client is the birth mother who is placing her child). I have done 4 of those placements, and 1 of those relinquishments in the last 2 weeks. (2 of those placements while driving to California, relying on my awesome coworkers to step up and help with the in-person parts.)

To give you an idea of why I am complaining, in 2008 I did like 6 or 7 placements ALL YEAR.

EX. HAUST. ED.

So if I have been dodging your phone calls, and playing way too much farmville- it is because I have been too busy to answer the phone, and too overwhelmed typing casenotes and reverting to old collegiate strategies of facebook induced procrastination.

Now that all of those babies are placed, I have to meet with each family a set number of times to supervise the placement before they can finalize. I know each family, and remember their unique placement. But that is a LOT of babies. So I honestly can't really keep all the names straight, as horrible as it sounds. So I have my little trick when I blank on the name of saying "Oh he's so cute! Remind me how you spell the name for my notes." This has backfired lately as the couple looks at me and says flatly "J-A-C-K." Um, yeah, that would be how you spell that name. lol. So really, don't feel bad that I'm absent lately. Everyone is getting it.

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Speaking of awesome- that is Carly's newest word. Everything is "Oh! Awesome!" The first time she popped out that phrase, I believe, was Christmas morning while opening the plethora of presents. I need to get it on video, because awesome on a 2-year-old really is awesome!

Strep throat, UVU, and BM explosion

The BM explosion got you to read this didn't it?

You sicko, you.

Well sorry to disappoint, but in my world BM stands for Birth Mother. These last 2 weeks or so, I have had almost as many birth mothers assigned to my caseload as I have had the whole rest of the year. All the other caseworkers are swamped too. It's crazy! And a bunch of my couples are getting some action too (meaning their files are being pulled and looked at, or they are being emailed by birth parents who are looking to find adoptive families). Over half of my approved couples have something going on right now with their files. For sure most of these little "leads" don't pan out. But it keeps me incredibly busy in the meantime with that many anxious couples all needing support all at once/ that many face to faces to arrange/ that many out of state caseworkers to contact to confirm the actual existence of a promising birth parent. It's good to be busy...it has felt like a slow year. And I can feel the excitement emanating off of my couples, and even while I try to prepare them for probable disappointment, it's hard not to really get excited about the "what ifs" right along with them. Like "what if 8 of my couples went on firm hold all at the same time?"

I'll tell you what if: That would be awesome.

Anyway, I was inspired by one of my fellow coworkers to put my clients' profiles linked to my blog. Why not advocate for them in one more way if I can? So please, check out my newest feature. And if you see a couple you feel would be a good fit for a birth mother in your life, please show her the profile. Not all of my couples are up currently. A good number are on hold, so I couldn't link them currently. But as they return into the pool, or as new couples are approved, I'll add the link to their IAL profiles right there on the right of the page.

Also this week, I got my husband his college degree. How? you ask? Well, by looking at his credit earned vs. credits needed and recognizing that he had finished his degree. And then calling around to the various counselors/professors needed to approve the needed substitutions and petitions. We had thought that after taking a year off to focus on work, that this would be a good time to go back to finish that whole fire science degree. Little did we know until this last week that he had actually been done since January of 2008. (insert grimace....) So Marshall is a happy man that his degree will come in the mail in January (though 2 years late) without having to step foot in a classroom again.

This is one of those times that I think he should kiss the ground I walk on.

And now for the strep throat:

I had strep throat. It almost killed me. I felt so horrible I thought I was going to die. Horrible. 103+ temperature for over 24 hours straight with no relief. Tylenol couldn't touch it.

Come to find out, 3 days into my antibiotic treatment, that I was given a half dose size of the pills. I had been taking "one pill in the morning and one at night," as per the doctor's orders, while I should have been taking 2. And in the midst of my fevered delirium on Friday, I had even called to double check why I wasn't getting better. They said a nurse would call me to determine if I should come back in, and then no one ever called. When I called today, they told me there was no record of my phone call on Friday. I may have been fevered delirious, but I don't think I was that delirious to imagine a phone call.

Don't worry, I feel much better now!

So that was us this week in a nutshell.

A birth mother's story

In my job, I have the wonderful and sacred opportunity to be witness to some of the most sacred moments in people's lives. I don't often talk about these moments and stories because they aren't mine to share, or to write.

I follow one blog, the r house, which is a blog maintained by one of the adoptive mothers I have had a chance to meet. It is one of the premier adoption advocacy blogs out there today, in my opinion. Mrs. R. not only shares her own struggles and joys in her sons' adoption stories, but also uses her blog as a platform for others to share their own stories. I know that for one of my amazing birth mothers in particular, this blog was a pillar of strength and a resource for peace while preparing to place her own son last year.

Currently on the r house, Mrs. R. has a guest blogger, Andee, who is sharing her story. It is told in 2 parts, and I will link both.

Part 1.

Part 2.

This is a very honest and emotional account of one unique adoption story. But it rings with such eternal truth. In many places, it could be the same words from the mouths of each of my own birth mother clients. The love Andee has for her daughter, the tough decisions she had to make, and the heartbreaking sacrifice have all been true of every case I have handled.

This is the story that I wish I could share with everyone, but that I do not have the rights to. So please, visit the r house this week. And read Andee's story. It will give you insight into these wonderful, selfless women. And explain a little more the sacred moments I get to witness.

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In other adoption news, LDSFS is redesigning its website itsaboutlove.org. The old website you can view as linked. The new site will eventually replace the current site at that URL. But since it is not yet published, you can view the new site at beta.itsaboutlove.org.

The new site has a lot of really neat features, more current information and testimonials, and better adoptive couple profiles. Many of my couples are now published on this beta site, and soon hopefully all of our couples will have made the transition over. You can search these profiles if you would like. But the main thing to check out, IMO, is definitely the different resources and birth parent stories. And keep this website handy if you run into someone who is single and pregnant and looking for information about their options. This site covers much more than just adoption.

Adoption: Different trips to the same place

Deciding to have a baby is like planning a trip to Australia. You've heard it's a wonderful place, you've read many guidebooks and feel certain you're ready to go. Everyone you know has traveled there by plane. They say it can be a turbulent flight with occasional rough landings, but you can look forward to being pampered on the trip.

So you go to the airport and ask the ticket agent for a ticket to Australia. All around you, excited people are boarding planes for Australia. It seems there is no seat for you; you'll have to wait for the next flight. Impatient, but anticipating a wonderful trip, you wait--and wait--and wait.

Flights to Australia continue to come and go. People say silly things like, "Relax. You'll get on a flight soon." Other people actually get on a plane and then cancel their trip, to which you cry, "It's not fair!" After a long time the ticket agent tells you, "I'm sorry, we're not going to be able to get you on a plane to Australia. Perhaps you should think about going by boat."

"By BOAT!" you say. "Going by boat will take a very long time and it costs a great deal of money. I really had my heart set on going by plane."

So you go home and think about not going to Australia at all. You wonder if Australia will be as beautiful if you approach it by sea rather than air. But you have long dreamed of this wonderful place, and finally you decide to travel by boat.

It is a long trip, many months over many rough seas. No one pampers you. You wonder if you will ever see Australia. Meanwhile, your friends have flown back and forth to Australia two or three more times, marveling about each trip.

Then one glorious day, the boat docks in Australia. It is more exquisite than you ever imagined, and the beauty is magnified by your long days at sea. You have made many wonderful friends during your voyage, and you find yourself comparing stories with others who also traveled by sea rather than by air.

People continue to fly to Australia as often as they like, but you are about to travel only once, perhaps twice. Some say things like, "Oh, be glad you didn't fly. My flight was horrible; traveling by sea is so easy."

You will always wonder what it would have been like to fly to Australia. Still, you know God blessed you with a special appreciation of Australia, and the beauty of Australia is not in the way you get there, but in the place itself.

By Diane Armitage printed in the April 21, 1995 "Dear Abby" column.

This is why I LOVE my job

This last week has caused me to take a deeper look at my job.

As many of you know, I work as an adoption and birth parent specialist for LDS Family Services. It is such...special...work. I can't think of a word special enough, so I'll just use "special." It can be heart wrenchingly devastating, and sweetly inspiring in the same moment. Every client that comes into my office, whether desperately aching for children, or faced with the uncertainty of an unplanned pregnancy, enters with a prayer in their heart and hope in their eyes; each is there seeking comfort and guidance. I often tell my husband that I feel like I get to go to work in the temple everyday, because the Spirit in my little office is so strong. Indeed, the work I get to do is sacred and holy.

I am so lucky that on some tiny level, I get to be a part of creating forever families. I get to witness the sweetest, most important moments in my clients' lives. I get to hear the first-hand account from an expectant mother of the sweet witness of the Spirit the first time saw "her couple's" profile. I get to witness the moment that a couple who has known the desperation of infertility finds out that they are going to become parents: "The due date is in 7 weeks. Oh, and by the way, it's a girl." I get to be present the first time a couple meets the mother who is carrying the sweet angel that she has chosen to place into their family. I get to watch in silent reverence as a birth mother, a first mother, with more tears and heartbreak than one can comprehend, gently places her precious baby into the aching arms of the woman that she has chosen to be known as "mommy."

Often I find that I feel like an intruder, a voyeur, in these special, private moments. But I remember that ultimately I am privileged to be part of something so sacred. My job is to be a Witness of Miracles.

This explains why I love my job so much more than I ever could:
"So much in my heart"