Warning: Pic heavy

Playing catch-up:

Okay, for anyone who didn't already know, we now have a toddler. She is her own little person, and it is so fun to watch her personality come out each day.

She really, really loves to wear daddy's hats. She'll take them off his head to wear.



We now have to childproof EVERYTHING. Her favorite hiding place for her shoes, cups, tv remotes, cell phones, you name it, was the trash can. So we had to fix that. She's not too happy about that.

We have entered the era of disney movies. Carly LOVES little mermaid, and she even got comfy to watch 101 dalmatians last week. Yes, her favorite movie watching spot is the edge of the coffee table. She jumps right up there on her own.




Along the line of princesses, Carly now is very interested in everything fashion. If she can put an article of clothing on, she will. She also loves jewelry. We didn't hear from her for a while last week, and when we found her she was in our room playing dress up all on her own. Here she is in a nice island themed ensemble: mommy's bathing suit and puka shell bracelet. She picked this out and put it all on by herself, no joke. Yes, her head it through the leg hole. lol.


Another thing that goes along with being a princess is always getting her way. Carly wishes she always got her way. Unfortunately there is a bigger princess in the house: her mommy. Carly doesn't get away with much. And when she hears "no," tantrums ensue. It is a wonderful new part of toddlerhood. Complete with flailing, kicking, and head banging. This tantrum moved from the couch to the floor.

Needless to say, we are starting to implements time-outs this week. So far it is a lot of Carly laughing, and mommy making her sit in the time-out spot again, and again, and again.

Carly also likes to hide her food for later. She will stash it here or there. One time we found a drawer full of dried up lima beans that she had hidden when still fresh. This time it was grapes. So now we are only doing food while seated at the kitchen table.


Her hair is also getting longer and curlier. Sort of an oxymoron, since you can't tell the length unless it is wet.


When I was at Walmart yesterday, I found a great deal on some winter boots (who can say no to 13 dollars?). So Carly has been practicing walking in her first hard souled shoes. She isn't much of a fan of walking in the boots. She would NOT smile for any of these pictures. But she likes to hold them and pet them because they're furry. Cheap pet, works for me.


Carly went to the season opener BYU game a couple weekends ago. She did really well and actually watched most of the game. She did such a good job, Marshall got her a present. What's that saying? Train a child in the way they should go, and when they are grown they will not depart from it. We are banking on it. We consider this an investment in her college education.

Where were you 7 years ago?

I was getting ready for early morning seminary watching the 6am news. I saw footage of the first tower hit as I was tying my shoe laces. I still remember what shoes I was wearing. But no one knew it was an attack yet, just an accident. I got into my friend's car for the ride to church, and she turned channel to channel on the radio trying to get anything but the news. But all we heard about was the world trade center, and that's when I heard that the second tower had been hit. Our seminary principal was crying when he came in to tell our class. We didn't have a lesson that day. At the high school (I was a senior) my first class was american government, and the teacher didn't believe us that something monumental had happened. He hadn't heard and wanted to continue on the normal lesson. I got up and left his class and went home to spend the day with my mom and watched the footage over and over and over again. I was in shock.

My husband was in the MTC. THAT'S a bizarre place to be when huge news happens...lol. They were told what happened, but were never shown any footage, and they just continued with classes as normal. They did get to listen to the church fireside later that week. But even now, he has never actually seen the footage of the towers falling. He felt like he was sheltered from those images and refuses to watch them now.

Have prayers to spare?

I have never met Cjane or her sister Nie, but they are friends of an acquaintance. Nie (of NieNie blog fame, short for Stephanie) has been in a terrible plane crash, along with her husband Christian. If you have prayers to spare I'm sure their family, and especially their 4 small children, would greatly appreciate the sentiments and the extra help to pull through this terrible time. Cjane is keeping everyone updated on her blog. Thank you.

http://blog.cjanerun.com/

2,000 views!!!!

Today, I had my 2,000th view. So in celebration, I will honor that person.

2,000th view, you stopped by at 6:28:18pm (Mountain time) on Saturday, the 24th of August. It appears you are from the greater Los Angeles area of California. You use pacbell.net (like my inlaws) and prefer to use Internet Explorer. You viewed 1 page and stayed for 0 seconds, and entered directly, with no referring URL or exiting site. Most likely, this means you viewed me on a list of blogs, and didn't actually come to my page. Which means you didn't get the full experience...I mean, I worked hard on that background. But it's okay, you viewed my blog. And for that, I honor you.

THANK YOU 2,000th view. Without you, I would have only 1,999 views, and I would have to live with the uneasy anticipation that comes with being mildly OCD. I probably wouldn't sleep well tonight. 1,999 is such a stressful number.

Make a pancake

Maybe its just because its 2am....

Super Skanky....

...MAKEOVER!!

'Cuz you all wanted to see what I would look like as a blonde hooker, right?

Before:

& After:

Don't worry, I did Marshall too!!

Before:
& After:

http://www.taaz.com/

More of my cute kid

For the family that reads this blog to see Carly...I have to deliver. She is getting so big, and is still pretty cute. Props to my mom for sewing the apple shirt.

Isn't he sweet?

I woke up to beautiful flowers.

French Perspective

“A fingertip did the victory,” said Amaury Leveaux, one of the French swimmers. “It is nothing.”

Huh...gold sure doesn't look like nothing to me....

Full article

Breaking Dawn

We went at midnight last night to buy the latest book of the Twilight series. When I say "we," I mean me and Marshall. Whose idea was it to go buy the book at midnight? Marshall's. Who has read all the books religiously and had a semi-countdown to last night? Marshall. Marshall was one of the only guys there. And he was certainly the only guy who was genuinely excited. It was cute.

The only other midnight book buying I have been on was the 6th Harry Potter a couple summers ago. I am the kind of person that gets mad at a book if I get to the end and am let down. So, normally if there is a lot at stake (like the love of an entire series) I will read the last page first thing to see if I should prepare myself for the worst. When I purchased Harry Potter, I had to find out if Harry died. I couldn't read 600+ pages wondering the whole time. It would have killed me. Most people think this is a horrible compulsion and some even get kinda mad at me for "ruining" a book for myself. I like to get back at them by ruining the book for them too. :)

Last night, in the middle of Walmart, clearly the only woman there who hadn't read the whole series, and accompanied by the one man who hates ruined endings more than anyone, I had the strongest desire to stand by the registers and read the last page aloud at the top of my lungs. Maybe even with a bullhorn. I wonder how the 200 people in line would have reacted. THAT would have been worth a midnight trip to Walmart! (don't worry, no endings were actually ruined)

Peace

Where can I turn for peace?
Where is my solace
When other sources cease to make me whole?
When, with a wounded heart, anger, or malice
I draw myself apart searching my soul?

Where, when my aching grows?
Where, when I languish?
Where, in my need to know?
Where can I run?
Where is the quiet hand to calm my anguish?
Who, who can understand?
He, only One.

He answers privately.
Reaches my reaching.
In my Gethsemane, Savior, and friend.
Gentle, the peace He finds
For my beseeching.
Constant He is, and kind.
Love without end.

It is unexpected and amazing how much peace I have.

Home

So even though the doctors do not have any conclusive hormone levels on me, they let me go home. They decided that since my vital signs were so stable and since I was up and about, it wouldn't hurt to be an extra 3 minutes from the hospital (I can see the hospital from our apartment). Plus, my mom is here so I'd never be alone. And, Marshall tells me that his immediate family gets free transport in Gold Cross Ambulances (almost as cool as airline employee benefits...?)

So I am home now, and feeling pretty good. It still hurts to move around, but I'm surprisingly not as sore as I thought I would be. I go back in for blood tests tomorrow morning (Friday) and again on Monday. The doctors say that they expect I will have to do a second round of shots, which I would start on Tuesday. Hopefully, I won't need more surgery. As is, I am not allowed to lift anything over 10lbs for the next 6 weeks. I don't know how that's going to work, since Carly weighs 24lbs and we live on the 3rd floor. I either need to convince my mom to move in for the 6 weeks, or I need to teach Carly how to climb stairs and maybe how to get up onto her changing table. Oh, and how to get into and out of her crib. And how to just basically obey me. LOL...like that's going to happen.

Thank you so much for all of the kind comments, calls, and emails. We have really felt the love and prayers of so many in the last week.

Very sad news...

We lost the pregnancy. Well, we haven't even lost it yet. It's ectopic. And ectopic pregnancy is any pregnancy not in the uterus. Usually these pregnancies are still within the reproductive system (ie: the fallopian tubes or in the ovaries). Mine, however, is an abdominal pregnancy.

We discovered this yesterday because we came in for some blood work and found that I have low progesterone, but really high HCG. (These are the 2 important pregnancy hormones for those of you who aren't savvy). Low progesterone is an indication of an unsuccessful pregnancy, so naturally they wanted to do an ultrasound immediately. The ultrasound showed that the uterus was empty. With my HCG levels being so high, the doctors knew that the embryo had to be a couple centimeters by now and have a beating heart, so they knew that they didn't just miss it. They continued to look around and found a "mass" near my ovary. This mass did not have a yolk sack, or a heart beat, so they couldn't rule out that it was just a cyst.

There are 2 ways to "take care" of an ectopic pregnancy: one is a chemical abortion, and the other is surgical removal. It was my choice. Since my levels of HCG are so high, I am at increased risk that the chemical abortion would not work and I would end up in surgery anyway. Additionally, if the mass that they found was really a cyst, the embryo could be somewhere else and have a beating heart. I'm sure its just me (I'm slightly crazy), but I feel very strongly about not taking abortive measures once an embryo has life (a heart beat), so the idea of doing the chemical abortion without having positively identified the location or health of the embryo really bothered me. So we decided to do surgery. Late last night they wheeled me in, and knocked me out. They discovered during the exploratory laparoscopy that the mass was indeed the pregnancy, but that it had never developed correctly or lived in any form. No heart beat, no life sustaining abilities. However, it was embedded in my abdominal wall right between my ureter and a major blood vessel to my right leg. They decided that removing it surgically was too risky, and to try the chemical abortion since they had positively identified the mass as the pregnancy. But since the mass is in such a sensitive and critical area, they also do not want to let me go home and wait to see if the chemicals worked because if the pregnancy ruptured, I would surely bleed severely and likely die before making it back to the hospital.

So here I sit, in the oncology ward of the hospital, hooked to a million monitors, and waiting to see if my hormones levels go down enough to indicate it is safe for me to go home. Worst case scenario, the chemicals never work, I do 3 rounds over 3 weeks, and still end up back in surgery with an oncology surgeon (they do more vascular work). Best case scenario, this first round works and I am back home in a couple days. We'll see.

Yes, I am sad. But really I am doing much better than I thought. Knowing that I did everything I could to consider and preserve life makes me feel at peace. We are also at peace knowing that this pregnancy never developed into in a little baby, that it was never capable. There was just too much wrong with the cells and the location. We are eager to try again and know that that little spirit is still waiting to come to our family and that we will still meet him or her soon. Thank you for all the prayers and support of the family and friends we have spoken to so far.

SYTYCD...its official

I have my favorites. I hold back pledging support until I've seen a bit of the couples. But 3 weeks in a row they've given me goosebumps.



Chelsie and Mark

And its not even because she is a hometown girl.

Well, since Marshall already blogged the beans...

I'm pregnant. Very early pregnant. Like 4 weeks 2 days pregnant. But although we have already told some people in person, apparently Marshall felt it was a good time to announce it blog-o-sphere style. So, now everyone knows. Everyone but my mother-in-law. She is at girls camp, and won't have reception (or the internet) until tomorrow. Sorry Londa!!

Yes, we're very happy. This was planned and we have been trying for a couple months. I hope its a girl. We already have names. We are dorks.

How to get kicked out of the zoo

Ah, yes, the Hogle Zoo.

Carly has these flashcards with different animals on them. She loves these cards. We have tried to teach her the animals' names and the sounds that they make. One day, we were working on "dog" and she actually got that dog's say "woof woof" and that the card was of a dog. (or so I thought). I soon realized that she thought that every card was a dog and that every animal says "woof woof." Occasionally she'll do a cute elephant imitation: high pitched squeal with arm straight up in the air.

Anyway, since she's learning the animals, we thought maybe it would be fun to go see them in person and let them show her what sounds they make. We planned the trip on a beautiful in Provo, but by the time we were in Salt Lake, it was rainy. But we had no other plans and didn't want to go home early, so a rainy trip to the zoo it was.

It was cold and miserable. And half of the exhibits didn't allow strollers, so we couldn't go inside. Half of the animals were hiding inside (they were smart). But here's a little of what we did see:

ElephantSome kinda monkey or sloth or skunkCougarBears Penguins

Marshall, of course, could not visit the zoo without mocking each of the animals. I'm glad we were there on a day when there were so few other people, because at every exhibit, he would yell, "hey monkey...hey you monkey...monkey monkey monkey." Toward the end of our trip we came upon a peacock that was wandering free. Marshall felt that mocking just wasn't good enough.

Don't worry, the peacock didn't have a heart attack and fall over dead. And we didn't really get kicked out of the zoo. But I bet if it hadn't been raining, and the zoo personnel weren't all huddled in the snack bar, one of them probably would have yelled at us.

Carly still thinks cougars, monkeys, bears, and dogs all say "woof, woof."

Moving!

We're moving to Salt Lake next week! I just thought I would let everyone know. It is a big lifestyle change for us. This means a whole new town and neighborhood. It is a little intimidating. We have moved a million (well 3) times within Provo, but those moves have never affected daily life, like which grocery store to go to, which exit to use, or which theatre or mall to go to. Provo feels like home after having lived here for 6 years. It's a little intimidating to know we will be up in the big city. So wish us luck!

Dandelion Day

We went to the playground on Sunday, and it was blooming with little white balls of fluff. Carly was excited, and as much as we tried to teach her how to blow them, she was more exciting by trying to bite them. Here are some pictures of our little family:

AAHHH!

My stomach is doing blackflips.

I'm so excited...

That's right!....

SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE IS STARTING!!!!!!

Ta Da!

Check out Carly's new and improved nursery/play room:

North Wall

East Wall

South Wall

West Wall

(you just went in a circle)

Nothing too fancy, we're renters afterall. But I was excited to move around the furniture and get some actual play space in there for her. There is a gate at the door, and a camera in the corner. We can let her play and actually go to the bathroom without her ever being unsupervised. LOVE IT!

Speaking of bathroom, since Carly is a self sufficient walker these days, we decided to get her a potty chair for her first birthday in a couple weeks. Don't worry, we'll go at her pace. We actually just plan to have it in the room and get her used to sitting on it at first. But with any luck, it won't take the whole year. Wish us luck!

Motivation

[moh-tuh-vey-shuhn] (noun)

1. the psychological feature that arouses an organism to action toward a desired goal; the reason for the action; that which gives purpose and direction to behavior; "we did not understand his motivation"; "he acted with the best of motives"
2. the condition of being motivated; "his motivation was at a high level"
3. the act of motivating; providing incentive
4. My mother in law



Marshall's mother has a way with him that I will NEVER have.


Londa came to visit earlier this week. We had the carpet relayed in our apartment the day before she arrived, and our house still looked like this:The entire contents of Carly's bedroom (minus crib and dresser) were in our living room. She was staying at Russ's house, so I wasn't too worried, but she did come down on Wednesday for the morning. The room still looked like that when she arrived (not to mention the pile of laundry on the lovesac).

When I returned from work, my living room was clean. Shocked, I asked my 4'11" mother-in-law if she had moved all the heavy furniture herself. Nope. Sure enough, she had asked Marshall to help and he had. Our house looks SO NICE!

The next day, after Londa had left, Marshall said "I'm glad my mom came because otherwise our house would have never been put back together." I asked, "You wouldn't have helped move furniture if I had asked?" His answer: "Probably not, that's why I said I'm glad my mom came." I need to learn her secret...

P.S. Thank you so much, Londa!

It's begun

Today I found a centipede and 2 beetles in my house. Okay, so Carly found them and alerted me by pointing and going "ooh! ooh! ooh!" But regardless, they were in my house. Bug season (otherwise know as summer) has begun.

The Lord's Prayer

Just about the cutest thing ever.

Boo!

Marshall gets to go see David Archuleta sing tonight. Without me. I'll go pout now.

Good Shepherd

Today in relief society a story was shared that really touched me. I thought I would share:

"Some years ago, it was my privilege to visit the country of Morocco as part of an official United States government delegation. As part of that visit, we were invited to travel some distance into the desert to visit some ruins. Five large black limousines moved across the beautiful Moroccan countryside at considerable speed. I was riding in the third limousine, which had lagged some distance behind the second. As we topped the brow of a hill, we noticed that the limousine in front of us had pulled off to the side of the road. As we drew nearer, I sensed that an accident had occurred and suggested to my driver that we stop. The scene before us has remained with me for these many years.

An old shepherd, in the long, flowing robes of the Savior’s day, was standing near the limousine in conversation with the driver. Nearby, I noted a small flock of sheep numbering not more than fifteen or twenty. An accident had occurred. The king’s vehicle had struck and injured one of the sheep belonging to the old shepherd. The driver of the vehicle was explaining to him the law of the land. Because the king’s vehicle had injured one of the sheep belonging to the old shepherd, he was now entitled to one hundred times its value at maturity. However, under the same law, the injured sheep must be slain and the meat divided among the people. My interpreter hastily added, “But the old shepherd will not accept the money. They never do.”

Startled, I asked him why. And he added, “Because of the love he has for each of his sheep.” It was then that I noticed the old shepherd reach down, lift the injured lamb in his arms, and place it in a large pouch on the front of his robe. He kept stroking its head, repeating the same word over and over again. When I asked the meaning of the word, I was informed, “Oh, he is calling it by name. All of his sheep have a name, for he is their shepherd, and the good shepherds know each one of their sheep by name.”

It was as my driver predicted. The money was refused, and the old shepherd with his small flock of sheep, with the injured one tucked safely in the pouch on his robe, disappeared into the beautiful deserts of Morocco."

-John R. Lasater, “Shepherds of Israel,” Ensign, May 1988, 74

I don't know what more I should, or could, say that wouldn't take away from this beautiful analogy. I just thought I would share.

My house is a wreck!

Our house flooded mysteriously on Sunday (yes, almost a week ago...I know, I've been a bad blogger). We woke up to water throughout the hallway, kitchen, bathroom, and most of Carly's room. Even stranger: the water had been shut off the building, so ours wasn't the only unit affected. So we tried to mop it up and determine from the neighbors what happened. Kiernan had been visiting that week, and lucky for her she had just left hours before it happened.

Our efforts to mop up the flood waters with towels were futile at best. Putting towels down was like putting a band-aid on a shark bite.

The landlord had to hire a clean-up company to come out and de-water my house. They pulled up the carpets, pried off the baseboards, cut out the padding, and disinfected the concrete under it all to prevent mold. They then sucked as much water out of the carpet as possible, and set up fans throughout my house.

Did I mention that we had to move everything off the wet carpet and into the living room?
So we had no water for a couple days, and had to sleep for 3 nights with the whirring and wind of all those fans. It is expected to be another week before we can put our house back together.

But all in all, it wasn't too terrible.

Some positives:

-We finally get our carpets cleaned! (yay!) We moved in as sub-leasers, so the carpets were never freshly cleaned for us.

-I think our ANT problem drowned!

-It gave us the motivation we needed to clean out Carly's room. This has been a project for a while.

-I moved the washer and dryer for the first time, probably ever. So I had a chance to clean underneath, and I also found some missing tuperware.