8 years

Happy Anniversary to my Best Friend.  

Wow!  We were just kids!

Sucks that you have to work today. Miss you, love you, see you tomorrow!

Low maintenance

One time my husband and I were out on a date, and I was wearing one of the only 2 pairs of jeans I own (one is maternity!), and he said "I think it's so sexy that you are so low maintenance." I was a little confused- it kinda came out of nowhere. I asked what he meant. He said "Your jeans. I love that you wear them even after they are frayed at the bottom. I love that they are the only pair you own. And I love that I know you aren't going to go buy another pair just because they're worn out."

I was a little surprised. Not because he was wrong. But because he was exactly right.

My jeans had long frayed pieces of denim hanging off the cuff where I had stepped all over the hem, and I hadn't even considered buying a new pair. They still fit. They still covered me. Otherwise they were sturdy. I thought they looked nice! Who notices the cuffs anyway?

Well my mom came to visit about a week later and pitched a fit. "They look trashy" she insisted. I compromised and cut the tattered shreds off.

Most girls have numerous pairs of shoes. Some women are 'shoe girls' and collect dozens of pairs for occasional use. I am not a shoe girl. Maybe I would be if I had money to spare. But in general, while I can admire a cute pair of shoes, maybe even covet, I can't see the purpose of spending money on every cute pair you see. You don't need that many if you have the basic staples.

I have 4 pairs of shoes.

- I have a pair of flip flops I stole from Marshall when we got married. These are my casual summer shoes. They are now 7 years old and in perfectly useful condition.
- I have a pair of Ugg boots I wear every single day as casual shoes in the winter. They are now 5 years old. They leak a bit, but should last one more winter.
- I have a pair of running shoes that gets occasional use. I just bought these new in December, replacing the pair I had had since 2000.
- And lastly, I have a pair of black flat dress shoes. I wear these most days year round. They are my work shoes, worn with my black dress skirts to work, and they are my 'dressier' casual shoes worn with my [one pair of] jeans when 'going out.'

I wear my shoes out. Not just until they're scuffed and a newer pair would look nicer. I wear shoes until I can't anymore. Until it's time to go replace that pair with another similar one for that staple's purpose.

Today I had to buy new shoes.


I'm glad that Marshall thinks it's sexy. My mom just thinks it's sad. And I don't think much about it at all, obviously.

The best husband ever

I have blogged many times about what a great dad Marshall is. Because it's true. I've never met a guy who was a better dad than Marshall is to our kids. He is amazing. Which makes me a lucky girl.

But there are other reasons I am lucky too... he is an amazing husband.

I think amazing husband and amazing father go hand in hand. I am inclined to believe that you can't have one without the other. If your husband is a good husband, he is (or will be) also an amazing dad. I just can't see how a guy who has the status of "amazing" in his relationship with his wife would be capable of showing less love and adoration for his kids.

And in order to be a truly great dad, a man MUST be a great husband. To not be loving, kind, and faithful to his children's mother, is to not give the very best to his kids. I love the quote by President David O. McKay, where he says "The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother." It really says it all.

This last week, Marshall once again reminded me what a lucky lucky girl I am.

He had been telling me for a couple weeks that he had gotten a babysitter so that we could go to the temple on the 17th of June. I thought it was sweet that he had planned a date night. He had arranged for Russ to come watch the kids for a couple hours. When we were getting ready to leave, Marshall kept asking me if we needed to lay pj's out for the kids, or talk to Russ about bedtime. It thought this was odd because we were leaving at 2pm, and would be home by 7 at the latest.

We went to the temple, and had a wonderful time. Then he took me to dinner, which was also a very nice time. We started to head home, and Marshall wasn't driving in the right direction. I asked him where we were going, an he assured me he was trying to find an on ramp. I knew he wasn't going in the right direction, but he gets grouchy when I back-seat-drive, so I just kept my mouth shut. Just when I was getting thoroughly confused, he pulled into the Anniversary Inn in Salt Lake.

Talk about shocking!

He explained that Russ was staying the night with the kids, and that he had overnight items stuffed into his temple bag. I couldn't believe it! I am a such a planner, and I'm pretty nosey. There is not much that goes on in our home that I am not aware of. He had been planning for a month straight, had friends and family in on it, and managed to keep me completely in the dark.

We checked into the hotel, and the desk clerk asked what we were celebrating. (The Anniversary Inn is where people go for their wedding night, or for, well, their anniversaries) Marshall replied "a Thursday night in June."

What a guy!

We had an amazing night staying in the Jungle Safari room. Marshall forgot the camera, but we wanted to show Carly the crocodile in our room, so the next day we went back during their tour hours and took some pictures.

I am the luckiest girl alive. Marshall is an amazing husband and father!

6 years of 'I love you's"

Today is our 6 year wedding anniversary.

6 years ago at this moment, we were in the temple getting ready to be sealed for time and all eternity.

As this blog is primarily used as our family journal, I realized that I had never recorded the story of our courtship. And I thought our anniversary would be the perfect time to do just that.

We met at BYU because we lived in the same apartment complex, and consequently were also in the same ward. I had just moved in along with Breann, and he had just moved in with his twin, Russ. He was fresh off his mission. Like a week off. And I had just moved out of the freshman dorms. Our first ward prayer of the semester, someone pointed him out to me and mentioned that he was also a social work major, so we should talk. But our very first interaction ended up being during a competitive ward game between apartments. There may or may not have been a little less than ethical play on the part of my apartment, and so his apartment retaliated with guerrilla warfare. During this exchange I threatened him- a stranger at the time- with gross bodily harm. I really didn't like him; he says that this exchange left him intrigued. He had always liked girls who were firecrackers.

Well it turned out that my roommates who had been in the apartment longer knew his roommates. We were in the same FHE family, and the two apartments got to spend a good amount of time with one another. Marshall and I spent more time together, got to talk, and discovered we had quite a bit in common. BUT, he was dating another girl. He moved quickly, only a week off his mission, remember. So I put him out of mind. Or I tried. But we were constantly around each other. And his girlfriend wasn't in the ward, so she wasn't.

One of the traditional activities our apartments did together was going to Del Taco at midnight on Sundays (no longer the Sabbath...lol...bad, I know), and on one such Del Taco night, no one else went. So it was me and him, and we were able to really talk a lot about what we were looking for in a spouse and in life. I liked him even more, but he still had that girlfriend.

A couple weeks later a large group from the ward went to Las Vegas to see the BYU football team play UNLV. One of my roommates decided not to go at the last minute, so there were 2 in my car, and 3 in Marshall's. So I suggested we all ride together to save gas. It was crowded in my little neon, but that was all the better to snuggle with him in the back seat. We spent that whole weekend getting to know each other and holding hands, and snuggling. And I knew we would start dating. The last day in Las Vegas I asked him what we were and what we would be in Utah, and he said that there was only one girl he wanted to date and get to know better, and her name was Lauren.

Side note...I decided while in high school that I would only kiss one man. To me, kissing said 'I love you' and I didn't want to give my heart away to someone I couldn't marry. So I didn't really date in high school. And at BYU I would tell guys early into the dating process that I wouldn't be kissing until they were ready to propose (there is a LOT of kissing to be found at BYU...NCMO anyone?). So I would weed out the ones who weren't ready for marriage right away. All of the guys I actually dated were wonderful...all gentlemen. I'm sure all would have made great husbands (consequently, I don't believe in soul mates...I think any 2 good people who are willing to sacrifice for one another and are committed can make a marriage work and can fall in love). But I was this odd little serious girl who would pray about everything, and made dating and giving my heart away a matter of prayer. I prayed to know if I should kiss and give my heart away.

So we got back to Utah, and he broke it off with the other girl, and we started spending every moment together. We would get together before classes in the morning and read our scriptures and pray together, and get together to watch movies, and go on walks, and go on dates every evening. And talk- a lot of talking. That first weekend to Las Vegas was on October 24th, and by Thanksgiving he told me that he "was falling in love" with me. Well that scared me a little, because I hadn't prayed about it yet, and frankly didn't know what love felt like. So I panicked and told him I'd have to get back to him on that.

I spent the Thanksgiving break at home really praying and thinking. I knew that it was right, I got confirmation that I could marry him and it would work, but I was freaked out that it was so fast. So dang fast. I was second guessing myself because it had been-what- 5 weeks? So I got back and knew he had prayed about it too. But I was still scared and keeping a little bit of distance while I figured it out. He got a little frustrated and I got the feeling he was going to break up with me because his feelings were hurt. I mean the poor guy told me he loved me, and then I avoided him. lol. So one night we went out, and then at home in the parking lot, we were sitting in the car in silence. The night had been tense, and I knew we were going to break up if I didn't get past my fears. So I took a deep breath, leaned over, and kissed him. And he kissed me back.

About a month later, after spending Christmas break with each other's families, we were engaged. 4 months after that, we got married on April 24th. The 6 month anniversary of that first "date" to Las Vegas.

Today we celebrate our love story. Our courtship, but more importantly the 6 years since. And even more importantly the eternity to come.

Happy Anniversary Marsh! I love you.

Love is...

...Waking up this morning to scrambled eggs and sweet words.

He said, "I've been in a 'make-scrambled-eggs-for-you' kinda mood all week."

If that's not love, I don't know what is!
He even scrubbed out the pan afterward.

Hope everyone's Valentine's Day was full of love.

The magic bed

I married a pretty awesome guy. Not only is he funny, and handsome, and occasionally sweet to me-- he is just the best father! Picking a guy to marry is a funny process. There are a lot of factors to consider, but one of the ones that will be the most imperative once married- the father gene- isn't always on the forefront of a girl's mind while dating. I mean, it's not like while at BYU there are a million ways to test how a date is going to be with children. You talk about kids, know that he wants kids, hear what he has to say about the kind of dad he wants to be, and you pray about your choice. But if you're like me and married a guy who does not yet have nieces or nephews and who doesn't have younger siblings, ultimately their father gene is like unwrapping a present. You really hope and pray it is awesome, and you trust that it is because you know the gift giver pretty well otherwise. But you just aren't always sure what you are going to get.

Well, that said, I hit the jackpot when I married Marshall. Every day I get to see more and more just what a great dad he is. It's like he was born to be a dad. I'd have to say that his daddy side is his very best side. He does daddy-ing better than he does pretty much everything else.

He is playful, patient, creative, and fun. Carly just adores her daddy. He can do no wrong. Their relationship is so fun to see. They practically have their own language. And he just can't get enough of her. She never annoys him. Never wears him thin. They are like each other's favorite people. When I am at the end of my rope and my patience has been worn completely away, and it's been one of those days where I want to close my eyes really tight and hope when I open them I am alone on my own tropical island, I am just amazed by Marsh because he just doesn't have those days. I lose it sometimes. Lock myself in the bathroom for a breather while Carly whines on the other side of the door. Marshall never does. He has unending patience with her. And he's a super hands-on dad. And it's not like he isn't around her one on one very often. Marshall is the stay-at-home parent 2 days a week while I work. So I've just got to say, he is an impressive father.

One of my favorite things about Marshall as a father is the funny little traditions he starts. The kinds of things that are so random, yet consistent, that you just know they are going to be memories. One in particular that I love is the "magic bed." Marshall loves buying Carly little presents. Toys, books, stuffed animals, cars. And Marshall does his shopping while Carly is sleeping- in the gas station during his night shift, or at the store while picking up milk at 5am on the way home . When he gets home, she is still sleeping, so he sticks it under her bed. I don't know why he decided to do this, or when the first time was. But it has become a tradition, and at least once a week Carly has a present waiting for her under her bed in the morning. Her magic bed. Most days I notice her on her belly at some point, searching the darkness beneath her bed to see if any more magic has happened. These are the kinds of things that make me so grateful to have married a guy who takes such an interest, and such initiative to make his children's eyes light up.

I am a lucky lady.

6 years later

6 years ago a group from the BYU 177th ward took a trip down to Las Vegas for the BYU - UNLV football game. A guy named Marshall and a girl named Lauren went with their roommates and returned to Provo a couple.

Married 6 months later, this couple has returned to Las Vegas for every BYU football game since.

Glad to say what happened in Vegas didn't just stay in Vegas.

5 Years Ago

5 years ago today, Marshall and I were kneeling across the alter of the Los Angeles Temple making the eternal sealing covenants of marriage.

When we were first married, we would mark each month's anniversary, saying things like "oh my gosh! I can't believe we have been married 3 months!!!! It seems like we just got married yesterday!" People, upon hearing about our "big" anniversary keep asking if it has gone by fast... if it still just feels like we got married yesterday. And you know what? it doesn't anymore. Is that weird?

I know it sounds bad, but now it feels like we have been married forever. Like I can't consider or clearly remember a time before we were married. My marriage to Marshall is my existence, my whole experience in life. We are no longer 2 individuals trying to figure each other out, trying to figure out how to make our partnership work. Now marriage is like having a right arm. We both know how to use it and having it is second nature. I think this is a good thing. There are things that I certainly miss about that exciting honeymoon period of marriage. But the deepened partnership we have now is definitely preferred. It has taken a lot of work, pain, tears, sacrifice, and forgiveness to get here. And I know we still have a long way to go. But our marriage today is...older...than it was. Like watching a child grow. Our marriage is smarter, not as naive, and better at handling the surprises and challenges of life. I think this is what one calls progress! I am proud of the progress we have made.

In honor of some of the lessons learned, and those still to come, I will post some quotes on marriage that I love. I found these in the May 2009 Reader's Digest.

"I used to believe hat marriage would diminish me, reduce my options. That you had to be someone less to live with with someone else, when, of course, you have to be someone more." -Candace Bergen

"Marriage is our last, best chance to grow up." -Joseph Barth

"When a husband brings his wife flowers for no reason, there's a reason." -Molly McGee

"For two people in a marriage to live together day after day is unquestionably the one miracle the Vatican has overlooked." -Bill Cosby

"The formula for a happy marriage? It's the same as the one for living in California: When you find a fault, don't dwell on it." -Jay Trachman

"Men always want to be a woman's first love... Women have a more subtle instinct... What they like is to be a man's last romance." -Oscar Wilde

"A happy marriage is the union of two forgivers." -Ruth Bell Graham

"Only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy. One is to let her think she is having her own way; the other, to let her have it." -Lyndon B. Johnson

"A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person." -Mignon McLaughlin

And my favorite:
"I married the first man I ever kissed. When I tell this to my children, they just about throw up." -Barbara Bush
(for those of you who are unfamiliar, Marshall was the first man I ever kissed.)

So here's to the last 5 years of marriage. And here's to the next 5. I know we will just get better at being each other's eternal partner! We are far from perfect, but I sure am glad that Heavenly Father, in His wisdom, has given us the opportunity to use a whole Eternity to get it right! So lastly, here's to Eternity!

I love you, Marsh.

Cleaning

Do you ever feel like you wander around the house cleaning, only to be followed immediately after by a little tornado?

I'm not talking about my toddler. It's my husband.

Don't get me wrong, Marshall likes things "clean" too. But clean, I have learned, is a subjective term. When Marshall cleans, he takes the mess to a higher plane. Literally. Anything and everything on the floor must come up! To where? Where ever is the next closest flat surface that is not the floor: the top of the bookcase, the kitchen table, the kitchen counter, and his favorite spot- on top of the entertainment center.

I clean by taking these items accumulated on top of various countertops in our home and put them inside things. Inside baskets, or drawers, closets or cabinets. Basically, where they belong. That is my idea of cleaning.

So today I tackled the top of the entertainment center. It is was a mess. I sorted the items into which area they really belonged in: the pantry, the sink, our bedroom, the bathroom, Carly's room, the trash can, the bookshelf. Dirty cups, boxes of cereal, socks, lotion, old mail, a stack of Carly's books, some Carly art supplies, various electronics, deodorant, shoe polish. You name it really. Then I started to put it away.

I started with the various electronics. Most went into the cabinets in the entertainment center, as opposed to on top. I put them away. Then the cereal and crackers and fruit snacks the Marshall likes to store near the TV (because 10 feet is just too far to walk to the pantry). Soon, I was making progress.

I returned to the entertainment center, and I swear things I have put away have reappeared. Am I hallucinating? I ask Marsh how they got back out, why they got back out. He looks at me with complete sincerity and says "that's where they belong. You're always trying to hide my stuff." YES! That's it! This is a game of hide and seek, and Marshall has just won.

I try to explain that these objects all have homes, and they can be brought out to use when needed, but should go back to where they belong after. I am talking to a toddler. But he persists. He says that it is simply too much work to get his wii-mote charger out the once a week he uses it, and it should always be accessible. And the food? If it's in the pantry, he'll forget we have it and won't eat it.

It must be fun to live as Marshall. Can you imagine what it must be like to be really pleasantly surprised every time you open the pantry? It must be like Christmas every day.

Finally official

So this pregnancy I have felt pretty good. Pretty much just like my pregnancy with Carly. A little nausea here and there, but I haven't thrown up at all. I start feeling "gross" if I haven't eaten lately. And I have the normal pregnancy exhaustion that requires I nap a lot. Overall, I know I am very fortunate because I have friends who have horrible pregnancies, and so I really can't ever complain.

We found out I was pregnant on November 5th, when I was just 3 weeks along. Really we already knew, that is just when we confirmed it with a test. I have been trying since then to convince Marshall to take pity on my poor pregnant state. Hey, it may not be that bad, but a woman is allowed to milk it from her husband, right?

Well, Marshall must have a much better memory than me of my pregnancy with Carly, because he loves to tell me I'm not even really pregnant yet. He tries to remind me of how hard that last month was, when I couldn't walk, couldn't sit, couldn't sleep, couldn't roll over. He tells me I was a walking personification of misery. Well, being the pregnant one, of course I don't remember. Heavenly Father has this wonderful way of letting me forget all of it so that I actually want to do it again.

But the bottom line is that Marshall doesn't cut me much slack yet. Wouldn't go to get me food I craved. Made me come down and help with the groceries in the middle of a snow storm. Still made me wash the stinky dishes. Won't give me massages. Every time I would complain or moan about something I didn't want to do and say "but I'm pregnant!," he'd say "oh you just wait, you're not really pregnant yet!"

Until last week. He went with me to that ultrasound, realized how far along we really are ("wow, it already looks like a baby?"), and started letting me be pregnant. I called him at work the other day to let him know I was craving. I said "I know you probably won't go get me anything at the store, but if by chance you want to go to the store, I am really craving pickles and fruit juice. And chocolate." To my surprise, he said okay! So I tested him a little more... "Now that's Claussen kosher pickles whole in the jar and Dole 100% fruit juice in the cardboard 1/2 gallon. No other pickles or fruit juice will do." My dear husband went to the grocery store (one of his least favorite chores ever) and spent an hour searching for those pickles. Just so everyone else knows, they are by the hot dogs, not with the other pickles. And the fruit juice he finally found on the beer aisle.

He also came home one evening with a foot bath, foot massager, back massager and neck massager. Completely unexpected.

So I guess it's finally official. I'm pregnant.

Happiness is...

Coming home from work to a clean house, happy kid, and a hot meal. My husband is amazing!

Isn't he sweet?

I woke up to beautiful flowers.

Motivation

[moh-tuh-vey-shuhn] (noun)

1. the psychological feature that arouses an organism to action toward a desired goal; the reason for the action; that which gives purpose and direction to behavior; "we did not understand his motivation"; "he acted with the best of motives"
2. the condition of being motivated; "his motivation was at a high level"
3. the act of motivating; providing incentive
4. My mother in law



Marshall's mother has a way with him that I will NEVER have.


Londa came to visit earlier this week. We had the carpet relayed in our apartment the day before she arrived, and our house still looked like this:The entire contents of Carly's bedroom (minus crib and dresser) were in our living room. She was staying at Russ's house, so I wasn't too worried, but she did come down on Wednesday for the morning. The room still looked like that when she arrived (not to mention the pile of laundry on the lovesac).

When I returned from work, my living room was clean. Shocked, I asked my 4'11" mother-in-law if she had moved all the heavy furniture herself. Nope. Sure enough, she had asked Marshall to help and he had. Our house looks SO NICE!

The next day, after Londa had left, Marshall said "I'm glad my mom came because otherwise our house would have never been put back together." I asked, "You wouldn't have helped move furniture if I had asked?" His answer: "Probably not, that's why I said I'm glad my mom came." I need to learn her secret...

P.S. Thank you so much, Londa!

4 years

We made it! (and haven't killed each other yet...)

I love you sweetie!

Butterflies

I was looking through some old photos on our computer, and I came across this picture taken in Las Vegas on that fateful trip where Marshall and I began dating. I love this picture. I had no idea at the time it was taken that I would be marrying the guy I was sitting next to; I just remember the intense butterflies in my stomach because he had his arm around my waist.

hooked on phonics...

Marshall and I like to read together in bed at night, mostly Michael Crichton books. Well, usually it is Marshall reading and me listening because I am really self conscious of my ability to read aloud (trauma dating back to elementary school). Last night, however, he put his foot down and said that I had to read the first chapter before he took over. No biggie.

I didn't even get half way into the chapter before he took it from me, insisting that I let him finish. "Why?" I ask, "are you getting tired?" "No" he says, "you just suck at reading."

Ouch.

sleepless night #93

so when you get married, you have to learn how to sleep with someone in your bed. you have to learn bed etiquette- sharing the bedspread and not kicking- etc. marshall, for instance, is a blanket thief. he sleeps with his eyes half open too (i know, weird!). it can take a while for newlyweds to get used to.

but i think it is even harder to re-learn how to fall asleep without that person once you are used to having him there. an empty bed is more distracting than anything.

fireman's widow

so with marshall gone so much, i am finding that i have started talking to myself. now, this can be healthy in some cases, such as in therapy or working through particularly difficult crosswords. but in my case i find that i am starting to make comments to the open air about my drive home, what to have for dinner, or funny commercials on tv. i am just so used to having him around. i am a lonely, lonely girl. i call my mom 3 times a day, and when she started ignoring my calls, i began calling my dad at work because he always answers his office line. aaaahhhh!!!

so i decided to start a blog. russ does it (though not often). star does it. bryant does it. gabe does it. it must be a healthier outlet than talking to myself.